I had a free meditation class for my birthday and decided to join the Spiritual Circle. I didn’t know what to expect, but I was looking forward to connecting. I want to connect with more like-minded, high vibe people. As a highly-sensitive person, it’s better for my energy if I’m with high vibers.
We did some meditation and then the teacher asked us a series of questions like, “What’s your biggest block?” and “What’s a childhood memory when you felt happy and free?” We also covered what we’d like to pursue if we could. After my bronc-hiatus, I was feeling pretty good energy wise.
For most in the room, their obstacles were similar: not feeling good enough, not feeling able to receive love and for me, time. I feel like I have a mountain of ideas and my body simply can’t keep up. My creative battery runs low and then I end up on a bronc-hiatus. (Can you tell I like saying bronc-hiatus? I do. I like when I’m spontaneously clever.)
The childhood memory that came to mind was when I created a little performance of Fleetwood Mac songs in a Stevie Nicks outfit of my own design. I pulled together a bunch of accessories and then sang and danced to one or two Stevie-centric songs. I felt free, happy, creative and complete.
I love creating, whether it’s writing, art, experiences or adventures, I realized that my life is my art.
Before the end of the class, we did partner work. I beelined for a woman with glasses. She seemed to feel so low and my soul was drawn to her.
She shared that she’d love to dance but she just generally doesn’t feel good enough. I felt inspired to share a quote I’d read in Material Girl, Mystical World: “The day you were born is the day the Universe decided it couldn’t continue to live without you.”
When I read it, the quote stopped me in my tracks. If you are waiting for permission from a VC, publisher, agent or network which leaves you feeling insecure, just think that the Universe put you here because it needed you for something. All of us, even terrorists, have a job in this world. If it’s meant to be, it will be.
I needed to hear it as much as this woman with glasses. If I’m meant to be a published author, I will be. If I’m meant to marry Brad Pitt, I will. If I’m meant to have an art gallery show of my own, I will. I’ve seen it happen with others and even with myself: Lincoln was supposed to be mine and then he wasn’t going to be. I tried to find another wheaten puppy and every phone number was disconnected, out of order or busy and every email bounced back. I followed up with the breeder about another litter and she asked if I wanted to meet Lincoln. He was just shy of four months old and he came home with me 36 hours later. He was always my dog, it happened differently than I expected.
As I shared some of this with my partner, the woman with glasses got tears in her eyes. We hugged. We had a real, vulnerable connection and it felt wonderful.
For the record, she told me that she saw me as an artist and a creative and couldn’t wait to see me burst into greatness.
I don’t know what I’m meant to bring to the world. “Purpose” feels weighty. Maybe it’s “art.” For an accountant or a physicist, it really is their art. For me, I think it’s writing and painting. But maybe I need to step it back to laughter and let the form shape itself.
I’m just embracing how I want to feel and that’s with a high vibration, like a butterfly mashed up with Stevie Nicks and Kelly Oxford’s humor plus some crystals.
You know, like someone who goes to Spiritual Circles. But funny.